today

TODAY IV BEEN VERY LOW,WEEPY.I DONT KNOW WHY,IT KEEPS HAPPENING.I AM ON A ROLLER COASTER UP,DOWN---CRAP.MY ISSUES....LAUREN DOESNT CALL OR RESPOND TO OUR ATTEMPTS TO TALK TO HER.I KNOW I CANT OWN JONATHANS AND MY EMOTIONS.I FEEL LIKE IT FEEDS INTO REJECTION AGAIN,THEN HE SAYS SHE NEVER CALLS.AS FOR ME IT IS REJECTION TO ME.I AM NOT GUILTY ANYMORE ABOUT THE JOURNEY WE HAD TOGETHER,EVEN THO I WASNT PRESENT EMOTIONALLY I WAS USING ALCOHOL,DRUGS,MOSTLY BULIMIA.LISA SAYS LET HER COME TO YOU ON HER OWN TIME. OH WELL THATS THAT!ALSO I`M IN ALOT OF PAIN AND WEAKNESS,CONCERNED ABOUT WORK.I KNOW MY LORD JESUS IS ALL+ALL+ALL...I TRUST YOU JESUS AND RELY ON YOU-YOUR WILL.I WILL LEARN ABOUT THIS AND MOVE ONTO MY NEXT STEPPINGSTONE.....I LOVE YOU COMPLETELY,GLAD I TOOK THE TIME TO JOURNEL