stand up

I came to an awareness... In my past..I used to get angry and resentful that my husband would silently not make decisions for any direction in our family.This caused anger,resentment,divisions,disappointment.It turned out that he really did not have the capability to do this.Seeing these behaviors took along time for me to accept...It was not only about him..on my part.I used to be afraid of being responsible for my own life,I choose others to take care of me...save me.The good news is I took control of my life and am respectfully taking responsibility in making decisions for our family...creating the kind of life that brings us joy,peace and a closer relationship.It has given me a voice,empowerment,and a closer relationship with GOD....I am still a beginner at this place in my life,But I Love the results.........steppingstones

Bottom vine

To add to the bottom reality---untangling a vine.The message was about letting go of others and keeping the focus on my own life.

untangeling a root

Recovery-one more root to untangle....I am trying to live life on lives terms.in my processes of recovery....I came to a place where I found myself trying to defuse others in my family,especially my explosive son,I used some different communication skills...like how would I like to be talked to,and treated,I listened to what they were saying from the heart,questioned in my head whats really buried underneath they`re outbursts,and what can I do to have peace,respect for each other, I even tried to use recovery therapy on them.How ever they really have not opened the door to recovery themselves. I vacillated- which means (wavering or tending to waver)on thoughts of what to do next,EXPECTING them to see and feel things the way I experience them,not realizing what I was doing....Expectations=disappointments,and out comes my anger issues,even when I held them inside using Denial.A great way for my ED to arise and all my other addictions. It`s NOT worth dying for.....This will take a lot of help and practice.I know with one day at a time,my faith in GOD,GOOD,ORDERLY,DIRECTION and others......RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE....
Another Steppingstone...................BEV

POEM

One thing I know the sun will rise up Each day my recovery brings about new awareness.... Sometimes a difficult road Getting myself loose from tangled vines and branches To journey onward with God and friends Sometimes enjoying the path...climbing mountains seeing green pastures lots of laughter Fountains of tears exploding in streams of rushing waters caressing over me Smoothing out the fears of a million years I AM HERE...... BEV

Turn your traumas into steppingstones.You will find purpose,hope,and a future. Being a survivor,in the dictionary means(to continue to live,or inspite of) your traumas.I have learned many lessons,one of which was getting to a place where I could face my fears and use my steppingstones to forgive myself and the perpetrators in my past,that led me to self destructive behaviors.I found out that when I faced my fears and confronted them,being able to forgive the others,I was the one that was set free.The chains of a life time were broken.Some of which were handed down from generation to generation.I found my voice,the silence was broken.It had amazing results in my family members.They started to look inside themselves to see the truth in it.The dynamics of the family changed.Exposing the truth in a productive attitude opened the door for them to recover and for me to work on my own recovery.I also put myself into a safe place ,with intensive therapy to find out what was hidden underneath the pain and entrapments.I experienced an excitement I never knew before-peace,joy,deeper spirituality,from within .I am set free from the chains that bound me.I am not defeated after all..............steppingstones

Blogger: steppingstones - Manage Posts

Blogger: steppingstones - Manage Posts

steppingstones

I created blog title steppingstones for a reason.Having a traumatic and very abusive life,due to others,in the time starting at my toddler age and up to my late 30`s,I am now in my middle 50`s.I am a true survivor.I acted out in a lot of various ways to survive the traumas that happened.I thought that way of life was normal,as thats all I knew.I put myself in intensive therapy and began to uncover the truths of what was underneath the abuse,a very long journey of exploration to the depths inside of me.My recovery is still on going,and has allowed me to move to a place of freedom from the chains that bound me.It has opened up a whole new me,with changes of behaviors,attitudes,and healthier choices in relationships,spirituality.I now have purpose,hope and a future,seeing others as significant,important people.You matter.I see that everything that happened in my life mattered.I no longer am a victim of my past,but am a survivor because of it.Nothing in my past is wasted,they are steppingstones to keep moving to the next level in my life.I know there will always be valleys to go through,mountains to climb.By taking ONE STEP AT A TIME............STEPPINGSTONES.......